Feelings of Failure As Mom Are Only Feelings

Tonight I'm crawling into bed before 1:00 a.m. Twenty minutes before to be exact.  My eyes are wide open because I told them to wake up so I could finally mop the floors while the kids were asleep, clean off my desk, bake a pecan pie for tomorrow's Christmas dinner, and finish picking up the house. All of those things are done now, but my mind is preoccupied with feelings of failure as a mom over the past week. 

A little background: I am recovering from gallbladder surgery, which has gone very smoothly. But then my family came down with the flu and we are all in desperate need of fresh air.  We have been trying to make the best of things. You know, watching movie after movie after movie. But I think I have had too much time in one room with my kiddos. They need a break and so do I. 

I am telling you this because my feelings of failure are real. 

As moms, we are constantly on guard...and I mean CONSTANTLY.  You know what I mean. We have so many things to think about in just an hour's time in regards to the discipline, nourishment, and character building of these little people.  

Today, I feel like I totally flopped! My to do list got completed, and that in itself is a miracle!  It was just yesterday that I was able to shave my legs (in the shower...can't take a bath) in 10 days. TEN DAYS.  It was a glorious time.  But while I am achieving my agenda, I feel I'm lacking a certain togetherness and authority. 

I have had no patience. None. At the end of the day I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  So this is what I did.  

I stopped and sat and looked at my little boys hands. He bites his nails just like me. He plays hard non-stop just like I did as a girl.  I talked to him alone on the couch and told him how much I loved him.  

Then I asked him to take a selfie with me and he corrected me and told me it was an "usie" because we were together.  Haha. My mistake. 

I then tucked him in and gave him kisses.  

I made a pecan pie with my oldest.  He did something that really upset me today. I flew off of the handle and lost it. I was almost in tears.  It was just a boy thing. Nothing detrimental. But it really upset me that he did it, nonetheless.  That situation seemed to ruin our whole day. So after I put the others to bed. I sat with him on the couch and told him stories of Christmas when I was a kid.  

Even though I didn't go into detail...today was quite chaotic. My two year old thinks he is a little child King and so I have that on my agenda for the next two weeks: "Break Child of King Syndrome."

I want to encourage all of you mothers who are up till midnight sweeping and mopping and folding clothes so you can be one step ahead tomorrow, regardless if you're tired or not.  Atleast the floors are clean and everyone has clean clothes. 

You are doing a great job, mom.  You are doing your best. It's ok to have disappointment in your children at times. It's ok to have a cranky toddler, and it's ok to stop the clock and build something everlasting.  

Chin up. Tomorrow is a new day! The Lord's mercies are new for me and for YOU. Count your blessings and breath deep the beauty of your babies, especially when they need you most. 

Dear Heavenly Father,

Give us the strength as moms to bear your fruit, especially love, peace, patience, and self-control.  You have equipped us to be strong mothers and leaders for our children. Help us to take care of ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally so we can continue to give out without displeasing you so you may be glorified.  Shut the mouths of our enemies and the lies that resound in our own hearts and minds so we can rise up to the every day challenges of being "mom" 24-7.  You are our strength.