The Little White Bag

"Get in the car, boys."

"Diaper bag, purse, jackets, diapers, wipes, food, change of clothes, soccer balls, gatorades, keys, chairs, blankets..."

My mind was going through the final check list before we drove out the drive way to our destination...The boys soccer tournament.  The list may seem long, but just like with any job you get it down pat.

I pulled myself up into the truck and looked into the rear view mirror to make sure I had all 3 kids and they were buckled in their seats.  It was then that I noticed it.

"Oh no...", I muttered.

My oldest two heard me and replied, "What is it, mom? What is it?"

I had given them the idea that something was terribly wrong.

"I forgot my makeup and I don't even know where my makeup is.  We were running late, but I turned off the truck and went back inside to search for the missing white bag that held my identity.  The one little bag that held the contents that would make me feel like I succeeded for the rest of the day.  I didn't even have a back up anything in my purse.

While going from room to room turning everything upside down to find this little white bag that held so much power over me... I just couldn't find it.

I went back to the truck and looked under all of the seats.

"Mom, you look beautiful.  You think you look hideous, but you don't."

"Thank you", I replied.  "I am so glad I don't look hideous.  Where is that stinkin' bag!"

I went back into the house and stopped thinking and praying out loud.  "Lord, I know that this is brings up so many issues within myself, but I really need that bag.  It is important to me."

"How important is your appearance to you, daughter?"

"It's really important.  I am stay at home mom.  I can't look like I just crawled out of bed when I have been up and at it hard since 7:30... I just can't do it.  Please help me find that bag."

Do you ever do that?  I know I can't be alone.  I am sure it is humorous.

But it was in that moment that I realized my reliance on this little white bag was more than the Lord wanted it to be.

I went to the bathroom and the sun was shining in through the window.  I could see the silhouette of the little white bag sitting behind the blacked out curtains.

"Ah! There it is!"

A rush of relief washed over me as I was able to walk back out to the truck in peace.

"Okay, we can leave now."


How many times do we get lost in selfish ambition and not even realize it? 

I truly felt like I couldn't see anyone without this little white bag?

Do you have a little white bag?  Something you hold closer than you should, something that shouldn't have so much reign in your life? 

I think we all have something.  It could be perfectionism, gossip, an eating disorder, or any other form of idolatry that takes the place of a Godly perspective of ourselves and others.

Father, give us a new perspective and a new confidence to see ourselves as you see us and not as the world sees us.  Help us to surrender those things that rule in our hearts.  Give us clean hands and a pure heart, Oh God.