Hide and Seek

Today at soccer practice, I sat watching my little boy stretch his arms to the sky as he made a goal. Then my attention was drawn to a handsome couple. The wife, in her scrubs, had just come from work.  She walked poised alongside her husband, makeup still done and her hair neatly pulled back.  Her eyes were tired, but I couldn't help but be a little envious of her time out of the house, and her put together appearance of being successful in the workplace.

I once dreamt of being a Dental Hygienist before my mom became ill and died of breast cancer. She passed away during my second semester of pre-requisite classes. I didn't finish.

I sometimes find myself looking at my life and wandering what would have been and how things could have been different if...I think all moms struggle with this thought, whether they are working out of the home, in an office, or unemployed.

But then my attention is yelled for as I hear the excitement in my little boy's voice as he made yet another goal.

"Great job, sweetie!", I yell back.
Then I realize once more how blessed I am.

Sometimes we, as moms, feel invisible. We feel hidden behind the walls of our home, constantly doing the same thing day in and day out, but no one notices what has been done and how much effort it really took to get the floors clean in the midst of five different sets of feet making tracks and walking through our dirt piles.

When we take our time and soak it all in, not rushing to beat the clock because we feel we have to...but rather look deep into the eyes of our children we will see their need for us. We will know we are not invisible.

If I hide myself intentionally for one moment, they come looking. If I don't answer them when they call for me, they panic.

We are not invisible and we are not missing out. We are blessed. No matter how desperate we get for adult conversation, a shower, or some down time, we can seek out our identity and our future in our children.

It's like The Lord put a secret message in their eyes. His love is found as it pours through us onto our children. But how much more does He love you and I?

The Lord sees our work. He sees when we actually move the furniture to clean. He sees when we cut the crust off of our little boys sandwich because it makes him smile. He hears our prayers to Him at night as we try our best to set an example and pray over our children.

When I have done my best and met the needs of my family, I am pleased. I know there is nothing more I can do, and I want to give Him nothing less.