Feeling Around In The Dark

My favorite movie is "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken", and although that movie has no real spiritual significance, it was the movie I wanted at the hospital with me while delivering my first child and it is the movie I think about when I struggle with almost anything.  Sonora was a young girl who left an abusive home situation to follow her dreams.  Ultimately, she lost her eyesight and had to train herself to find joy despite her circumstances.  Did you hear me?... She had to "train herself to find JOY."

The hardest scene is not seeing her hit the water with her eyes open, it is watching her try to navigate after tragedy hits...when she loses her sight and simple things like finding matching socks or putting on lipstick require help from her husband. 

Not only did she have to train herself to live a normal life, she had to retrain herself to mount a moving horse, complete a high jump, and trust her other senses.

Joy is found while trusting and leaping in faith from a place so high only the hands of God can provide a safe landing.

I have found myself in that same situation so many times.  I lose my vision and by losing vision, my Joy goes behind the scenes where no one can see it, not even me.   

I, too, have found it hard to navigate.

We have to keep our vision in front of us, even if it is all we can do just to feel around in the dark.

We have to remember we have a purpose, even when everything around us seems to be falling apart or turned out completely different than we had planned.

  I was going through my past "drafts" in my blog dashboard and found this.  What a treasure... The best thing about writing things down is going back and realizing where the Lord has brought you from and being able to see clearly where He is taking you. 

This is my heart "in the raw" just a couple of years ago.  

I am so joyful to know I am truly FREE, today.

"I feel comfortable in this simple life.

With my seat belt on and my hands gripping the arms of my seat.  I am not ready.

I thought I was on go.  But I am only ready if whatever the Lord has for me has limits.  You know the limits my mind can grasp and the ones that wrap my dreams up tight until they suffocate.

So I stick my head out the window, loosen my seat belt and scream.

My heart screams in frustration and anger over things I cannot change.

But the one thing I can change is my future.

He is preparing my heart for a drastic change and the breaking down of a dam that has held me captive for so long.  Within myself there is a wall, a wall holding me back from living free.

The pressure is building and a crack has made it all the way to the depths of my heart.  Soon, the dam will break and my heart will be free from the bondage of anger (from loss), frustration (from worry), and bitterness (from past hurts).

Let the river flow!"

If you are finding yourself with this feeling of entrapment, 

YOU ARE NOT STUCK. 

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.  Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." (Psalm 116:1-2)